Killing God in a Wendy's Parking Lot

It’s 3am and the sun is gone

The world is drenched in dark

I eye up God, he eyes up me

We’re alone in a Wendy’s car park

His eyes were soulless and beady

His tail was black and white

His hands were small and furry

And he radiated spite.

I took a small step closer

And God launched his first attack

He took a chunk out of my finger

Like I was just some kind of snack.

“I’ll choke the life out of you!” I bellowed

My chest puffed up with might

And with a voice that echoed, he said

“That’s what your mum said last night.”

“For a God you’re pretty rude.”

He said, “And humanity’s a rash.”

“Then, why don’t you just help us?”

“There is no treasure in trash.”

“Have you really just abandoned us?”

To which God’s nose did twitch

He told me my life was a circle:

Pointless...

I swatted the merciless creature away

And when his eyes looked ready to bawl

I said, “What have you ever done for me?”

The rat said nothing at all.

I tied my hair back, readied my fists

“I have some things I want to say”

But God just whipped his tail at me

“Then get on your knees and pray”

“I’ve had enough!” my voice was a squeak

“I won’t be treated like this!”

“Then don’t pick fights with deities!

And slow down with the cannabis.”

…When face to face with God

With a fleshy vessel of limited utility

I’m confronted with my mortality

And this fight’s utter futility

Then my head felt kind of heavy

God’s image started to sway

I questioned what was even real

When my senses had been led astray

And then my God just left me!

Leaving just the echo of a snigger

Like when your imaginary friends all leave

And the room feels so much bigger.

I was alone in the Wendy’s parking lot

My only company the moon

Maybe I’m just tired of everything

Maybe a raccoon

Is just a raccoon

Is just a raccoon.