It’s 3am and the sun is gone
The world is drenched in dark
I eye up God, he eyes up me
We’re alone in a Wendy’s car park
His eyes were soulless and beady
His tail was black and white
His hands were small and furry
And he radiated spite.
I took a small step closer
And God launched his first attack
He took a chunk out of my finger
Like I was just some kind of snack.
“I’ll choke the life out of you!” I bellowed
My chest puffed up with might
And with a voice that echoed, he said
“That’s what your mum said last night.”
“For a God you’re pretty rude.”
He said, “And humanity’s a rash.”
“Then, why don’t you just help us?”
“There is no treasure in trash.”
“Have you really just abandoned us?”
To which God’s nose did twitch
He told me my life was a circle:
Pointless...
I swatted the merciless creature away
And when his eyes looked ready to bawl
I said, “What have you ever done for me?”
The rat said nothing at all.
I tied my hair back, readied my fists
“I have some things I want to say”
But God just whipped his tail at me
“Then get on your knees and pray”
“I’ve had enough!” my voice was a squeak
“I won’t be treated like this!”
“Then don’t pick fights with deities!
And slow down with the cannabis.”
…When face to face with God
With a fleshy vessel of limited utility
I’m confronted with my mortality
And this fight’s utter futility
Then my head felt kind of heavy
God’s image started to sway
I questioned what was even real
When my senses had been led astray
And then my God just left me!
Leaving just the echo of a snigger
Like when your imaginary friends all leave
And the room feels so much bigger.
I was alone in the Wendy’s parking lot
My only company the moon
Maybe I’m just tired of everything
Maybe a raccoon
Is just a raccoon
Is just a raccoon.